How do I choose a wedding hat as the Mother of the Bride?

Choosing a wedding hat as the Mother of the Bride involves balancing style, proportion and colour so your hat complements you, your outfit and the wedding style itself. I recommend selecting a design that flatters your hair and face shape, sits comfortably throughout the day and harmonises with your dress, shoes and bag. Soft, elegant shapes work well for most ladies, and neutral or blended colours are often more versatile. A one-to-one consultation in my Winchester studio will help you explore shapes, colours and trims with ease and confidence.

Choosing a Mother of the Bride Hat: Clear, Helpful Guidance

A well-chosen hat should feel like a natural extension of your own style. Over the years, I’ve helped many Mothers of the Bride discover designs that elevate their outfit and help them feel polished, elegant and entirely themselves on the Big Day. This guide brings together the key points to consider when selecting your hat, based on my experience creating Bespoke and Ready-to-Wear designs here in my Rose Garden Studio in Winchester, Hampshire.

Simon and a customer matching a dress colour with hat materials ready to make a wedding hat

Start with your outfit

Your outfit is the starting point for every decision. When you arrive at my Winchester studio, I always begin by looking carefully at your dress – its colour, silhouette, and fabric – along with the accessories you plan to wear (such as shoes and a handbag). This allows us to design a hat together that complements your ensemble perfectly, rather than the other way around.

Consider:

What colour and accent hues are in your dress
What story and astosphere is your dress leaning towards
The overall style, venue and formality of the wedding
Any fabric pattern, lace trim or design embellishment (eg draping)
The neckline and shape of the sleeves
How do you plan to wear your hair on the day
The drape of the fabric and how it moves
The silhouette of the dress (eg column, A-line, tea dress, structured tailoring)
Your shoes - especially the colour choice and heel height
Style and colour of any jewellery or handbag you plan to have
In which season is the wedding taking place
If you plan to wear a jacket or pashmina in a complementary colour to tie-in with

General principles that work well:

Ornate dresses often suit simpler hats
Sleek, understated outfits can take more decorative designs
A wide, angled brim works beautifully with structured tailoring
A delicate percher or fascinator/saucer flatters column silhouettes
A soft, undulating brim complements a tea dress

Once I understand these details, I can recommend hat shapes and colours that complement you perfectly, ensuring the hat never overpowers your look. It’s helpful if you can bring your dress, photographs/sketches, and fabric swatches so we can explore shapes and trims that coordinate effortlessly with your outfit.

Siimon from Marvellous Millinery discussing the features of a particular wedding hat design with customer inside his studio in Winchester Hampshire

Choose a flattering shape

A well-chosen hat enhances your natural features and balances your proportions. Different shapes suit different faces, but there are a few simple principles that help almost everyone.

Think about comfort and fit

Your hat needs to feel comfortable from the moment you arrive at the ceremony until the last photograph of the day. I create and adjust each hat so it sits securely and feels well-balanced, without pressure points or wobbling.

Confidently greet guests and embrace family without concern for your hat
Remain comfortable during the wedding breakfast, even with a wide brim
Avoid the need to constantly touch or adjust your hat in photos
The elastic or band should provide a secure yet gentle fit
Make sure the hat stays in place without any tightness
Opt for lightweight materials on warmer days
Reserve felt or velvet options for cooler weather
Test the fit by walking, sitting, and turning your head
Designs can be considered to accommodate glasses, wigs or hearing aids

As the Mother of the Bride, you will greet guests, move around and pose for photographs. Your hat should stay comfortably in place and help you feel at ease throughout the day.

Simon and a customer discussing sinamay colours ready for a wedding hat to be made by Marvellous Millinery in Winchester

Consider colour and tone

Colour is often the part that feels most daunting. The good news is that perfect coordination rarely means an identical shade from head to toe. The most elegant looks usually come from subtle blending.

Combine two or three related tones rather than a single flat colour
Echo a colour from your dress in the trims or bow of the hat
Use a soft neutral base (such as the background colour of your dress fabric) with stronger accents
Avoid going darker than your dress unless we are making a deliberate statement
Think about how the colours will photograph in natural daylight and how they flatter or shade your face
Highlight an accent colour from a patterned dress - perhaps also echoed in your shoe choice
If you’re having a dress made, order extra fabric for me to use in your hat so that the match can be exact

When you bring your outfit to my Winchester studio, we can compare fabrics and hat materials under natural light in the garden, so you can see exactly how the colours behave in real life.

James Hare silk swatches being matched with sinamay ready for making a bespoke wedding hat by Simon at Marvellous Millinery in Winchester Hampshire

Match the hat to the style of the wedding

Your daughter’s wedding will have its own character – formal, relaxed, country, city, traditional or contemporary – and your hat should sit comfortably within that setting.

Country and barn weddings often suit softer, romantic shapes with gentle movement
Cathedral or church weddings can take a little more drama and height
City venues and hotels often work well with cleaner, sculptural designs
Summer garden weddings lend themselves to floaty, airy shapes and light colours
Autumn or winter weddings, consider structured felt and velvet trims in natural colours

I’ll always ask about the venue's scale, the time of year, and where the reception will take place, so we can be sure your hat feels appropriate as well as beautiful.

Simon from Marvellous Millinery Winchester assisting the customer with her new wedding hat

Bringing everything together in your consultation

A one-to-one consultation in my Rose Garden Studio here in Winchester is the easiest way to bring all these elements together. It is a calm, unhurried appointment where we can explore shapes, colours and trims until everything feels just right.

During your consultation, we will:

Look closely at your outfit, shoes and jewellery
Try you in a selection of shapes so we can see what flatters you most
Discuss how you feel about height, brims and angles
Explore colour combinations under natural light
Decide on different trim options - such as bows, curls, feathers or crystals
Check the balance and comfort so you will feel secure wearing the hat all day
Refine the final details and put your order in writing so that each of us can have a copy
Ensure that you look amazing from every angle in your New Hat

By the end of the appointment, you will know exactly which style suits you, allowing you to look forward to the wedding feeling confident, elegant, and completely yourself. My goal is to craft a hat that feels natural to wear, complements your outfit, and reflects your personal style.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Should the Mother of the Bride wear a hat?

It is still very much traditional for the Mother of the Bride to wear a hat or headpiece, and many brides love seeing their mother in something special. A well-chosen hat completes your outfit and adds a sense of occasion, without drawing attention away from the bride.

How far in advance should I choose my hat?

Ideally, once you have your outfit. Bespoke hats usually take between six and ten weeks from consultation to collection, so it is wise to book your appointment as soon as you know what you will be wearing.

What if I don’t feel like a “hat person”?

I meet many ladies who begin by saying they’re not hat people. Once we find the right shape and angle, they very quickly change their minds. There is always a style that will flatter you – my job is to help you discover it.

Can you match my hat exactly to my dress?

I can work very closely with your outfit using layered sinamay, silk and carefully chosen trims. Often, we choose a softly blended tone that sits beautifully with your dress rather than an exact match, which looks more natural in photographs.

Should the Mother of the Groom coordinate with me?

You don’t need to match each other, but choosing colours that sit happily together works well in group photographs. Many families like to share outfit colours in advance so there are no surprises.

If you’re ready to explore designs, you can browse my Bespoke Hat Portfolio or view the Ready-to-Wear Hat Collection. For advice on colour coordination, consult my Colour & Outfit Matching guide, and for practical information, see my FAQs. You may also enjoy exploring pages on Hat Etiquette & Traditions and Visiting Winchester for further inspiration.